It All Starts Off Wonderfully…
A parent tells us how gymnastics starts off as you would expect, fun and exciting but then how it morphs into something else and how you, as a parent, can lose sight and control of what’s happening.
It all starts so subtly an excited 5/6 yr old who loves gymnastics, the coach identifies the talent, up go the hours of training. You question this with other parents of older gymnasts ‘surely that’s too much for a small child?’ The answer is that’s the way it is – the shelf life of a gymnast is so short they have to start them young you are told. If they want to be on squad that’s part and parcel of it … as a new parent you take this on board. Your child so excited at the thought of being in the gym so much and to be on squad like the bigger kids wow !!! What an honour they think. As a parent that’s where it starts for you , conforming – you tell yourself well if that’s what they want and that’s how it is let’s see how it goes ……
Suddenly they are in the gym more than at home .. it doesn’t feel right but you see they are loving being with their gym mates and they are so proud of the skills they are achieving, competitions they are winning so you keep going along with it ..
As time moves on they may start to tell you of things coach has done said to another gymnast in a training session. You question it but your child tells you they are fine so don’t worry. You may mention that to the other gymnasts parent if your paths cross at pick up/drop off if you know them well enough of course. Parents are actively discouraged from ‘hanging around ‘ the gym usually. 9/10 times the parent will be surprised and say that their child hadn’t said coach had done anything but they were quiet on pick up so the parent thought they were just tired …… I can guarantee when questioned later on the child will play it down. It was nothing, it was my fault it’s just gymnastics, so worried they might have to leave and quit gym. It grows and grows from there. Parents are pushed out further and further ……Some coaches ridicule parents to the gymnasts – look at so and so’s mum/dad trying to look in why don’t they go home etc. Uncomfortable for the child of that parent to say the least …… but again becomes the norm.
You start to see the gymnasts telling mum and dad ‘just drop me and go please, I will be fine’. As parent at the time you just think they are getting older and seeking a bit of independence you find out later they are terrified you are going to see something /hear something that’s has gone on and will speak to coach and they will be punished and believe me I now know that the type of coach we are talking about doesn’t need much of an excuse to punish a gymnast. I watched a coach tell the mum of a young gymnast of about 10yrs old that if mum didn’t get her child to gym on time she would punish her child with burpees every time she was late. The mum was working so could not change things. That mum took her child and left ……
We left not long after that !!! my daughter was broken hearted when I took her away despite everything.!!! We were lucky then to move to a coach that totally restored our faith before my daughter left elite gymnastics. Like many others gymnasts her heart hurts for all the things she witnessed others go through more than anything she had happen. likened to watching her sisters being punished for things they couldn’t help .. watching them being frightened, crying or throwing up through fear.